Sunday, January 2, 2011

Marriage and the missing L

Confession is good for the soul, right? Or at least that is what I've heard. In the case of today's post it is meant to be an encouragement (or perhaps a bit convicting) to those of you who struggle with the whole submission thing in marriage.

Now don't go getting the idea that I am a dominating and nagging wife to a hen-pecked husband. Not even close! However, God has convicted me more than once over the years when it comes to my critical nature and desire to control everything. Definitely both areas where He has had to smooth rough edges and dull many sharp points. And, thankfully, He is still working at it! (Wish I could say He completed His work and I am now the best, most godly wife created..........I'm NOT!)

Recently I had yet another of those "Ah-Ha" moments when I read about the difference between being a competer of or a completer to my husband. Take away one letter and it makes a huge difference in how I fulfill my role of wife. Without that 'L', I am fighting for control, wanting to call the shots, make the decisions. It makes me question my husband's motives.  Resent his authority. Disrespect him. Not exactly the makings of a happy marriage. Quite the opposite, it lays the groundwork for dissension, arguments, and a disintegration of my marriage.

Add the 'L' and I become a completer, fulfilling my role as God intended. From the beginning, God's plan has been for the wife to be a helpmeet for her husband. (Genesis 2:18) As a wife, I am to respect my husband and that means allowing him to fulfill his role as God intended. I am not the head of the house; he is. Does that mean I don't have a say in decisions that impact us? Of course not. It does mean that if we don't agree, he gets the final say.  It does mean that when I disagree with him, I should wait until we are alone to discuss it. I shouldn't disrespect him in front of others by correcting him or by making sarcastic remarks. I should count to ten (or higher if necessary) before opening my mouth when I am irritated by his behavior. (I find that most of the time my irritation is quite simply caused by looking at his 'fault' so that I can ignore my own.)

Each of us have different things we struggle with when it comes to our role of wife. This is just one perspective that God has given me and I pray that you will consider it as well. Being the forgetful person that I am, I intend to post that one word, COMPLETER, in areas around my home where I will see it frequently. I know that I will need the reminder each day to be my husband's completer. This will please him, enrich my marriage, and most importantly, please my Heavenly Father.

Won't you join me?


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