Friday, November 19, 2010

If I only had 30 days...

So much I want to do. So much I need to do. If I allow everything that falls into those two categories to tumble into my mind at the same time it quickly escalates into a "Calgon, take me away!!!" kind of mindset. I can become so mired in a pit of anxiety that I do nothing. Kind of like the children's story where the character is running around yelling "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" O.K. so I don't run around screaming. But inside it can feel like my spirit is screaming.

This morning as I was sitting on my couch, drinking that first hot cup of coffee while waiting for my brain and body to finish waking up, I had a thought. (That in itself is cause to celebrate, considering the time of day it was!) Of all the hats I wear, of all the roles I fulfill, which ones bring me the most joy? Wife, Mom, Grandmother. Hands contest...that is where my heart and soul are. Sure, there are lots of other things I love to do and many people I love to spend time with and pour my life into. However, I realize that my best energy, my best time, the best of me is to be given to those people God has given me right here in my family.

I confess I don't always do a good job of showing that. It is way too easy for me to say yes to other things and leave little margin in for my family resulting in a Molly who is crabby, short on patience and long on critical. OUCH! Ugly but true.

Knowing that we are coming into a really busy season of the year, I am surrendering my 'want to, need to' thoughts to God. I realize it will be a daily surrender just because that's the way I am wired. I'm a make a list and get it done kind of gal. But I don't want the list to be my focus. I want God to be my focus. He then makes everything else fall into place. His priorities become my priorities.

Whether I have 30 days or 30 years left to live in this world, I want to spend them fulfilling the plan and purpose for my life that originated with God. Does it include more than being wife, mom, and grandmother? I suspect it does. But those are the most important relationships He has blessed me with and I believe with all of my heart, that is where He would have me focus.

...and so I plan to savor each and every moment. To allow Him to fill me with creative ideas to show my family how much I love them. How much I enjoy being here with them. To allow Him to use me to show them His love.

I'll be sharing with you some of the ways He does that in my home. I would love to hear how He does that in your home as well. (Ya know that is one of the great things about girlfriends...sharing our ideas, etc.) Leave a comment below -- you'll be a blessing to others and I'll bet you'll get one back!


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